Another reminder that my kids are growing too fast!!!

About a month ago I let Jack play outside with some friends while I was inside getting ready to go out with a friend.  When I walked out my front door my jaw about dropped to my feet because there was Jack, riding his friend's two-wheeler.  On Jack's fourth birthday last August we got both the kids boot scoot bikes, which apparently work really well because that was the first time Jack had been on a pedal two-wheeler.  We didn't even own one at the time, but after he surprised us all we took him bike shopping that weekend.  He picked out the one with the handle bar that turns and revs like a motorcycle.  He tells everyone that that's his gas that makes him go faster!   The first day he got the bike we all rode to the high school where he could ride around the "race track", which was a lot of fun for all of us.

My poor, sensitive-skinned children.  This is what Jack's legs looked like a couple of days later from aggressive push starts that bumped his shins into the pedals.

July 4

Holidays are such an exciting and fun time for me.  I love that Jesse gets some rare time off of work,  I love getting the chance to do things that are out of the ordinary, and I especially love all of the packed amount of family time we get.  This fourth of July weekend was no exception.  

We started the weekend with a pool/homemade-brick-oven-pizza party at Dallin and Sarah's newly finished house.  We've had several pool parties there in the past but this was the first one where the house and landscaping were finished, which was convenient to have a place to clean up and change.  (Sometime later I want to post some pictures of their beautiful award-winning house, recently shown in the Utah Valley Parade of Homes, but not today).  

My kids are sooo much braver this year in the pool, which makes it funner for everyone!  They had a blast going down the slide. Over. And. Over.

This picture cracks me up.  I'm not sure where that face came from.

I didn't capture any pictures of the pizza making in their backyard brick oven or of our awesome firework display in the world's biggest sandbox, but we did those things and had a wonderful time!

On Sunday Kayli and Andrew blessed their darling new baby, Luke.  After the blessing, Jack and Jayci sure enjoyed playing in "Austin's other grandma"'s huge backyard.  I don't blame them.  There were tons of kids, two swing sets, ride-on toys, and Jayci's favorite, cherry trees. (Which ended up cutting our trip short).  We all came home and rested and napped then headed to Mapleton for a family bbq at Jesse's uncle's house with his side of the family.  Jesse's teenage cousin grabbed our kids the moment we walked in the door and entertained them the WHOLE time.  It was the most relaxing dinner I think I've ever been to!

So what kind of super crazy people wake up at 5 AM and drag their kids out of bed at 5:30?  Well, we did, along with thousands of others.  

Monday morning, bright and early, we headed to Provo for the annual Freedom Festival, starting with the Balloon Fest.  Each year we've done this with the kids I think we must be crazy.  That is, until we get there.  These faces make it all worth it.

After the balloons we headed to the Grand Parade, a tradition that we do every year.  Jess will only commit to attending one parade per year, so this is the one.  

I think half the parade was firetrucks, which Jack later said was his favorite part. 

Couldn't tell, bud!

Jayci should be in show business.  With every marching band that passed, she would jump up right in front of everyone and start groovin' and shakin' her booty!  I was much more entertained by her than the parade.

Yes, I do comb my child's hair every now and then, but mostly it's a pointless effort since she always "fixes" it.

I sure do love my handsome boys!

My kids love uncle 'Cramen' so much.  I know they will miss him alot over the next two years, but I'm grateful for the example he's setting.  Cameron will be the first and only missionary for a long time (directly in the family) that my kids will see go.  We are excited to write to him each Sunday!!

 

 Boy, anyone who knows Jayci well knows that this is a crazy-rare occurrence.   She is the most difficult sleeper (at age 3, still not sleeping through the night. In case anyone wonders why we don't have another baby yet....) and just doesn't do stuff like this very often.  Poor girl, I guess 5:30 is too early to start the day.  Don't feel bad honey, it is for Mama too!

This pretty much sums up how we all felt, and did when we got home.  Except Jayci, of course.  A 7 min nap was good enough for her, so she trashed her room while the rest of us snoozed!

After naps we celebrated Uncle Alex's birthday with another delicious bbq at Gramma Kristy and Grandpa Rick's.

 

Mouth-watering food, fun activities, the best company.  

Perfect weekend!

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Motherhood is unquestionably the most challenging piece of my life. While it has brought out some of the best parts of me, parts that I didn't even know were there until venturing into this journey, it has also, I regret to even admit, brought out some of the worst.  At the end of each day when I kneel in prayer I feel like a broken record, begging for forgiveness for moments of disrespect directed towards my children.  Moments of  harsher-than-intended consequences, unkind words spoken through impatience and tiredness, choosing to do less important things over playing games and reading stories, not being "there" and not absorbing the moment enough because of mental distractions, selfish feelings about myself deserving more, selfish actions acting upon those feelings, letting anger over-rule patience, the list goes on (sadly).

Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of up-days, spiraling down to down-days.  Some days I feel like all the energy in my being is getting exercised just while trying to speak in soft, kind tones until I reach the point where I have exhausted every ounce.  That can be a scary point to reach.  It usually takes me to one of two places.  Either myself doing or saying things I regret, or me, on my knees, literally begging for someone to take over.  Both involve lots of tears.  One ends in sorrow and regret, the other ends in awe, light, gratitude, and joy. 

The point I want to stress is that no matter how I feel, I still have a choice.  I am responsible for my choices, and therefore deserving of the consequences.  No matter how little sleep I'm running on, how much my bones are tired and head aches, how frustrating the situation is, I will still be responsible for my choices.  

Today was one such day where I just haven't seen much light or done much to be proud of.  I'm at the bottom of the cycle.  My day even started with prayer and scripture study, yet there I sat, with a pounding headache and tears on my shirt.   I'll spare the details of the day, but somehow I ended up here. Some things are just too great to be mere coincidence.  I know I was supposed to hear this and when I did, my body was wracked with chills mingled with sobs.  

To all of you mothers, future mothers, good women who want to be mothers, I admire you so much.

This work is HARD.
  

There is no simpler or more honest way to put it.  

Please watch this and know, as I was reminded, that 

there is no greater work.

(and just in case you didn't click on one of the links....)