Boys vs. Girls

 vs

I have to include our conversation with this picture. (After Jayci came up the stairs looking proud and smug, yet somehow naive and sheepish at the same time).

Me: (trying to hide my laughter), "Oh wow, Jayci!  What do you have in your shirt?"

Jayci: "Just some toy oranges."

Me: "Lovely!  And what are you pretending the oranges are?"

Jayci: "Big muscles....like yours!"

(No longer able to hide my laughter)

My Ministering Angels

I am WAY unbelievably overdue for a post.  

Well, to somewhat explain my lack of posting...

I'm PREGNANT!

(But I'm sure that's not new news to most since it's already on facebook.)

I'm 17 weeks along, due March 25.  I have been more sick with this baby than with my other two, but thankfully I have been feeling so much better.  So much better in fact, I have entered NESTING.   Crazy nesting.  Like, I can't sleep thinking about all that I did and still need to do (as far as cleaning and organizing, not baby-preparing) kind of nesting.  That's also something I don't remember doing with the first two, at least not to this insane extent.  Weird.  

Anyways, the reason for actually feeling compelled to finally post something on here, I had an experience last week that I wanted to have recorded somewhere.  Unfortunately I'm not a journal-er.  OH how I wish I were, but such is not the case.  My blog has become my journal/scrapbook, and a pretty sad one at that, but that's beside the point. 

Last week I got the stomach flu.  (Which felt like an unfair slap in the face since the pregnancy nausea had finally just started to abate.)   Not just any regular old stomach flu either.  By 10 AM I had thrown up at least 8 times, and by about the 3rd or 4th time I was down to straight stomach acid.  For days afterward, my sides and back hurt from gagging and dry-heaving so forcefully.  (TMI, I know!  I could also add that it was the type of flu that both the sink and toilet have to be utilized at the same time, but that would definitely be TMI).

At about 10:30, Jayci, who was laying in my bed with Jack watching a movie, started to complain about a stomach ache, which quickly and progressively got worse over the next 30 minutes.  I was really worried.  How was I supposed to take care of my three-year-old with a stomach flu when I couldn't even stand up without vomiting?  It got to the point where she was just holding her stomach, bawling.  I grabbed my cell phone from my nightstand and while laying there with my sick, crying child I called her doctor to see if she could take anything.  Mid-conversation I started to feel the dreaded dry-heaves coming and I knew I there was no holding back.  I jumped up and threw my phone across the room while running to the bathroom, not even making it to the toilet.  

This was my break-down moment.  What was I going to do?  The next few hours looked pretty desperate, how was I going to get through the day?  There was my sweet, very dependent three-year-old daughter laying, rolling, crying, screaming in pain on my bed, while my head hung in the sink, tears streaming down my face.  Knowing I had pretty much reached my limit, I cried out in prayer, telling Heavenly Father that I couldn't do it.  I couldn't care for my baby while my body was this ill.  I was desperate for help.  I asked Him to take over.  I ended my prayer as my first angel came to answer. 

Jack walked into the bathroom with a cup of cold water.  He told me it would help me feel better.  I knew in that moment I couldn't even hold down a sip of water, but the acid was so bitter in my mouth that the cold water rinse-and-spit was something refreshing that I needed.  That sweet, tender act gave me some hope and much needed faith that my Father had heard me and was aware of my needs.

Still, I could do nothing more than go lay by my crying child and rub her back.  Still, the tears fell because I am the mother, the one who comforts, who eases the pain, and was unable to do either.  I only had to lay there for about 3 minutes when my second angel walked through the front door. 

Jess came home.  He took Jayci and gave her a hot bath to soothe her aching stomach.  He fed the kids lunch and took over for the rest of the day.  Thankfully Jayci did not have the stomach flu.  I'm not sure what it was, but I know she wasn't faking.  Maybe the only purpose of her stomach ache was to humble me and allow me to submit my will to Heavenly Father and put my faith to the test.  I don't know.  I do know that Heavenly Father listens.  He hears, and he answers.  We are promised the blessing of the ministering of angels when we are faithful.  More often than not, my angels don't come in a heavenly form, but an earthly form. More often than not, my angels have been my family.

Jayci still says things like, "Remember when daddy came home to save me?",  "Remember how daddy made me all better when I was sick?", "I was so, so, so sick and daddy came home to protect me!".  While I wish it were me who could have helped her in that moment (so she wouldn't remember me being so inadequate), I'm thankful to have a sweet, faithful husband who is also an adoring father to our kids.  I'm also thankful to have a loving Heavenly Father who hears us.  I couldn't get by without either in my life.

 

Another reminder that my kids are growing too fast!!!

About a month ago I let Jack play outside with some friends while I was inside getting ready to go out with a friend.  When I walked out my front door my jaw about dropped to my feet because there was Jack, riding his friend's two-wheeler.  On Jack's fourth birthday last August we got both the kids boot scoot bikes, which apparently work really well because that was the first time Jack had been on a pedal two-wheeler.  We didn't even own one at the time, but after he surprised us all we took him bike shopping that weekend.  He picked out the one with the handle bar that turns and revs like a motorcycle.  He tells everyone that that's his gas that makes him go faster!   The first day he got the bike we all rode to the high school where he could ride around the "race track", which was a lot of fun for all of us.

My poor, sensitive-skinned children.  This is what Jack's legs looked like a couple of days later from aggressive push starts that bumped his shins into the pedals.

July 4

Holidays are such an exciting and fun time for me.  I love that Jesse gets some rare time off of work,  I love getting the chance to do things that are out of the ordinary, and I especially love all of the packed amount of family time we get.  This fourth of July weekend was no exception.  

We started the weekend with a pool/homemade-brick-oven-pizza party at Dallin and Sarah's newly finished house.  We've had several pool parties there in the past but this was the first one where the house and landscaping were finished, which was convenient to have a place to clean up and change.  (Sometime later I want to post some pictures of their beautiful award-winning house, recently shown in the Utah Valley Parade of Homes, but not today).  

My kids are sooo much braver this year in the pool, which makes it funner for everyone!  They had a blast going down the slide. Over. And. Over.

This picture cracks me up.  I'm not sure where that face came from.

I didn't capture any pictures of the pizza making in their backyard brick oven or of our awesome firework display in the world's biggest sandbox, but we did those things and had a wonderful time!

On Sunday Kayli and Andrew blessed their darling new baby, Luke.  After the blessing, Jack and Jayci sure enjoyed playing in "Austin's other grandma"'s huge backyard.  I don't blame them.  There were tons of kids, two swing sets, ride-on toys, and Jayci's favorite, cherry trees. (Which ended up cutting our trip short).  We all came home and rested and napped then headed to Mapleton for a family bbq at Jesse's uncle's house with his side of the family.  Jesse's teenage cousin grabbed our kids the moment we walked in the door and entertained them the WHOLE time.  It was the most relaxing dinner I think I've ever been to!

So what kind of super crazy people wake up at 5 AM and drag their kids out of bed at 5:30?  Well, we did, along with thousands of others.  

Monday morning, bright and early, we headed to Provo for the annual Freedom Festival, starting with the Balloon Fest.  Each year we've done this with the kids I think we must be crazy.  That is, until we get there.  These faces make it all worth it.

After the balloons we headed to the Grand Parade, a tradition that we do every year.  Jess will only commit to attending one parade per year, so this is the one.  

I think half the parade was firetrucks, which Jack later said was his favorite part. 

Couldn't tell, bud!

Jayci should be in show business.  With every marching band that passed, she would jump up right in front of everyone and start groovin' and shakin' her booty!  I was much more entertained by her than the parade.

Yes, I do comb my child's hair every now and then, but mostly it's a pointless effort since she always "fixes" it.

I sure do love my handsome boys!

My kids love uncle 'Cramen' so much.  I know they will miss him alot over the next two years, but I'm grateful for the example he's setting.  Cameron will be the first and only missionary for a long time (directly in the family) that my kids will see go.  We are excited to write to him each Sunday!!

 

 Boy, anyone who knows Jayci well knows that this is a crazy-rare occurrence.   She is the most difficult sleeper (at age 3, still not sleeping through the night. In case anyone wonders why we don't have another baby yet....) and just doesn't do stuff like this very often.  Poor girl, I guess 5:30 is too early to start the day.  Don't feel bad honey, it is for Mama too!

This pretty much sums up how we all felt, and did when we got home.  Except Jayci, of course.  A 7 min nap was good enough for her, so she trashed her room while the rest of us snoozed!

After naps we celebrated Uncle Alex's birthday with another delicious bbq at Gramma Kristy and Grandpa Rick's.

 

Mouth-watering food, fun activities, the best company.  

Perfect weekend!

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Motherhood is unquestionably the most challenging piece of my life. While it has brought out some of the best parts of me, parts that I didn't even know were there until venturing into this journey, it has also, I regret to even admit, brought out some of the worst.  At the end of each day when I kneel in prayer I feel like a broken record, begging for forgiveness for moments of disrespect directed towards my children.  Moments of  harsher-than-intended consequences, unkind words spoken through impatience and tiredness, choosing to do less important things over playing games and reading stories, not being "there" and not absorbing the moment enough because of mental distractions, selfish feelings about myself deserving more, selfish actions acting upon those feelings, letting anger over-rule patience, the list goes on (sadly).

Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of up-days, spiraling down to down-days.  Some days I feel like all the energy in my being is getting exercised just while trying to speak in soft, kind tones until I reach the point where I have exhausted every ounce.  That can be a scary point to reach.  It usually takes me to one of two places.  Either myself doing or saying things I regret, or me, on my knees, literally begging for someone to take over.  Both involve lots of tears.  One ends in sorrow and regret, the other ends in awe, light, gratitude, and joy. 

The point I want to stress is that no matter how I feel, I still have a choice.  I am responsible for my choices, and therefore deserving of the consequences.  No matter how little sleep I'm running on, how much my bones are tired and head aches, how frustrating the situation is, I will still be responsible for my choices.  

Today was one such day where I just haven't seen much light or done much to be proud of.  I'm at the bottom of the cycle.  My day even started with prayer and scripture study, yet there I sat, with a pounding headache and tears on my shirt.   I'll spare the details of the day, but somehow I ended up here. Some things are just too great to be mere coincidence.  I know I was supposed to hear this and when I did, my body was wracked with chills mingled with sobs.  

To all of you mothers, future mothers, good women who want to be mothers, I admire you so much.

This work is HARD.
  

There is no simpler or more honest way to put it.  

Please watch this and know, as I was reminded, that 

there is no greater work.

(and just in case you didn't click on one of the links....)

Jesse turned 30

I know this is old news to most, but i've been feeling guilty that I have not posted anything about Jesse's biggest (literally) birthday!  April 9, 2010, Jesse Elies graduated from the twenties to the big, huge,  

30!

I sort of felt like a schmuck the whole week leading up to his birthday as I was trying my hardest to keep his surprise party a surprise.  I was very nonchalant about the whole thing, acting like I hardly cared, like it was no big deal.  All week I kept asking Jess what he wanted to do for his birthday, saying mean things like, "It's your birthday, just pick what you want to do!", or (the day before the party), "Crap, I should probable hire a sitter for your birthday.  Are we going out or something?" Luckily Jess has very few "offended" bones in his body and for the most part I think he cared very little. 

Unfortunately, when so many people are involved it gets very hard to keep all tracks covered.  I finally erased every message in my phone to hide suspicions but that just backfired since Jesse knows I ALWAYS have full inboxes and outboxes.  I also texted his best friend when he was standing right next to Jess.  I thought I was safe, it was 8 in the morning for crying out loud, Jess had just BARELY gone to work!   And the day of the party Jess overheard his dad tell someone that he had a party he was going to that night.

(We had a mini family party the night before.  Jesse isn't really a cake eater so he got a pile of cookies!)

When it was actually time to go to my mom's house (where the party was, but where Jess thought we were dropping the kids off to be babysat), Jess was pretty suspicious.  He knew something  was going on, just not what.  I did at least have him fooled about the babysitting since he really did think we were just going to drop the kids off, so he was still surprised to walk into the back yard to see all of our family and closest friends.

We eventually had to make our way into the house since our crazy spring allowed very little time to enjoy the weather.  It got very cold!

 (click on this picture to enlarge it and check out Jayci's face! :)

Here's our little sweet-toothed girl leaning in to lick the frosting. (We missed the picture with her tongue out, but that's exactly what she was trying to do.)  I think Kayli foresaw the situation and was prepared!

Thanks again to all of our awesome and amazing friends and family for coming and making the night great!

First Trip to the Dentist

This was back in February, and I forgot to include it in that post because I took them on my phone.

My kids went to get their teeth checked for the first time.  I know, I should have taken them a long time ago, but still, it was a success.  No cavities or any other obvious problems.  They behaved VERY well, even for the cleaning.

I couldn't resist taking pictures, but felt silly with the nurses there so I silenced my phone and pretended like I was checking some messages. :)

 

Jayci only took up half the chair.  It was so cute.

March 2010

We celebrated Jayci's third birthday in March.  Since we didn't have time for a family party on the day of her birthday (because of this), we did a small one the next night. 

I took Jack shopping while Jayci was at preschool so he could choose out a present for her.   He picked out a Dr. Suess's Cat in the Hat floor puzzle and was so excited to give it to her and watch her open it.

This was a genuine, non-staged hug.  These are the fleeting and precious moments that I always miss on camera, so I was grateful I already had it out and was snapping away.

Next came the big present from mommy and daddy....

AN AMAZING TREASURE BOX FULL OF PRINCESS DRESSES AND ACCESSORIES!

Wow, this has been a purchase that has been much loved and used daily!

Um, ya, she's a princess.

Just keep 'em coming!

And now, layered in 3 dresses, the princess is ready to dance.

.................................................................................................

Jesse kind of likes Moe...

and kind of hates getting his picture taken, especially when he's lounging in bed in his undies, but don't worry, that's his "it's not the real bird so it's ok" bird. Hehe, I hope he doesn't look at this post!  I didn't even include the ones of his signature "ugly camera face".  I'm so nice.

Remember this post?  Well...........
NO MORE NURSERIES :(
(tears!)

Jayci got a big girl bed for her 3rd birthday, so in just a few short months we went from having two complete nurseries right next door to each other, to none.  I know it might sound crazy, but it was so sad for me to watch their cribs get taken apart and hauled into storage.
(BTW, Did anyone else have this exact same bed? Kayli and I did (dang birthright meant I had to sleep on the trundle though) and I swear every other little girl growing up in the 80's/90's also did.  I still love it though, especially with the new bedding (not shown, but what is shown is the quilt the senior laurels got to make before graduating. I knew it would come in handy some day!) that we recently purchased.  More on that later.)
Thanks to Auntie Erica for letting Jayci use the bed she grew up sleeping in!

I of course had to sneak in and snap a few pictures to document the first night.

More and more lately Jack has been falling asleep on the floor during quiet time.

Or like this.

Proof that he still needs a nap!

Okay, this incident was probably one of those 'you had to be there to think it was funny' moments, but really, it was so funny (which will make you think I'm a terrible mother, after you read on).
I was down the hall when I hear my blinds crashing against the window, followed by screaming.  As I'm running down the hall I'm listening to, "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HELP!  I'M HANGING, HELP! HELP! I'M HANGING! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  WWWWHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!"
I was relieved I could run in and burst out laughing.  (I was thinking of nooses as I was running to the rescue.)  Sooooo, what do I do?  Leave her screaming to run back down the hall to make sure I can capture this moment.  Naturally.

Followed by lots of hugs and loves and kisses and dramatic story re-telling.

This is poor Jack's reaction after he learned that daddy sold yet another vehicle. (There's so many, i'm not even sure which one we sold in March. Jesse's constantly buying and selling.)  Whatever one it was, Jack must have liked it!

Sorry bud, you'll have to take this one up with Dad.  I'm right there with you most of the time though! :)