My Ministering Angels

I am WAY unbelievably overdue for a post.  

Well, to somewhat explain my lack of posting...

I'm PREGNANT!

(But I'm sure that's not new news to most since it's already on facebook.)

I'm 17 weeks along, due March 25.  I have been more sick with this baby than with my other two, but thankfully I have been feeling so much better.  So much better in fact, I have entered NESTING.   Crazy nesting.  Like, I can't sleep thinking about all that I did and still need to do (as far as cleaning and organizing, not baby-preparing) kind of nesting.  That's also something I don't remember doing with the first two, at least not to this insane extent.  Weird.  

Anyways, the reason for actually feeling compelled to finally post something on here, I had an experience last week that I wanted to have recorded somewhere.  Unfortunately I'm not a journal-er.  OH how I wish I were, but such is not the case.  My blog has become my journal/scrapbook, and a pretty sad one at that, but that's beside the point. 

Last week I got the stomach flu.  (Which felt like an unfair slap in the face since the pregnancy nausea had finally just started to abate.)   Not just any regular old stomach flu either.  By 10 AM I had thrown up at least 8 times, and by about the 3rd or 4th time I was down to straight stomach acid.  For days afterward, my sides and back hurt from gagging and dry-heaving so forcefully.  (TMI, I know!  I could also add that it was the type of flu that both the sink and toilet have to be utilized at the same time, but that would definitely be TMI).

At about 10:30, Jayci, who was laying in my bed with Jack watching a movie, started to complain about a stomach ache, which quickly and progressively got worse over the next 30 minutes.  I was really worried.  How was I supposed to take care of my three-year-old with a stomach flu when I couldn't even stand up without vomiting?  It got to the point where she was just holding her stomach, bawling.  I grabbed my cell phone from my nightstand and while laying there with my sick, crying child I called her doctor to see if she could take anything.  Mid-conversation I started to feel the dreaded dry-heaves coming and I knew I there was no holding back.  I jumped up and threw my phone across the room while running to the bathroom, not even making it to the toilet.  

This was my break-down moment.  What was I going to do?  The next few hours looked pretty desperate, how was I going to get through the day?  There was my sweet, very dependent three-year-old daughter laying, rolling, crying, screaming in pain on my bed, while my head hung in the sink, tears streaming down my face.  Knowing I had pretty much reached my limit, I cried out in prayer, telling Heavenly Father that I couldn't do it.  I couldn't care for my baby while my body was this ill.  I was desperate for help.  I asked Him to take over.  I ended my prayer as my first angel came to answer. 

Jack walked into the bathroom with a cup of cold water.  He told me it would help me feel better.  I knew in that moment I couldn't even hold down a sip of water, but the acid was so bitter in my mouth that the cold water rinse-and-spit was something refreshing that I needed.  That sweet, tender act gave me some hope and much needed faith that my Father had heard me and was aware of my needs.

Still, I could do nothing more than go lay by my crying child and rub her back.  Still, the tears fell because I am the mother, the one who comforts, who eases the pain, and was unable to do either.  I only had to lay there for about 3 minutes when my second angel walked through the front door. 

Jess came home.  He took Jayci and gave her a hot bath to soothe her aching stomach.  He fed the kids lunch and took over for the rest of the day.  Thankfully Jayci did not have the stomach flu.  I'm not sure what it was, but I know she wasn't faking.  Maybe the only purpose of her stomach ache was to humble me and allow me to submit my will to Heavenly Father and put my faith to the test.  I don't know.  I do know that Heavenly Father listens.  He hears, and he answers.  We are promised the blessing of the ministering of angels when we are faithful.  More often than not, my angels don't come in a heavenly form, but an earthly form. More often than not, my angels have been my family.

Jayci still says things like, "Remember when daddy came home to save me?",  "Remember how daddy made me all better when I was sick?", "I was so, so, so sick and daddy came home to protect me!".  While I wish it were me who could have helped her in that moment (so she wouldn't remember me being so inadequate), I'm thankful to have a sweet, faithful husband who is also an adoring father to our kids.  I'm also thankful to have a loving Heavenly Father who hears us.  I couldn't get by without either in my life.